


I'm The Only Good Thing That Happened To You.

by ravioleeheicho (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Minor Violence, Obsession, Other, Psychology, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ravioleeheicho
Summary: "But isn't it impossible? They lack emotional Intelligence!""And moral.""And intimacy.""It's probably just obsession."Except it wasn't just obsession.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

"So, how was your weekdays?" 

Same old question. It is the same question for years. This question seems to never stop. And he answers them the same way for consecutive years. 

"Weekdays." He said. 

The man in question looks behind the questioner that he likes to describe as 'intrusive lady from the white, old and boring building' but he never once complained because the lady is the only one asking what happened to his every day and his _friends_ seem to not care which pisses him off to no end. 

"Really? It must be exciting for you then! Did you push one of your classmates again? What did they do?" She asks in a hurry. 

He looks back to the lady and tilts his head as if thinking of what to answer "Eh? I don't know. They were unconscious when I reached them." 

The woman hummed in response and looked at him. "There were blood though." He continued.

"And?" 

"And I left the scene because I still need to do something" He said and reached for his bag. "I got 91 over 100 from our exam! Look!" He showed his paper and the woman reached for it. 

"This is really nice! Who helped you?" She asked with a glint in her eyes. 

"Who helped me?" His tone spits an offended ego. "I studied non stop last week for this! I even asked my classmates' notes because I left mine! You all think I don't have the ability to study, do you?" The woman felt shiver when his last sentence went to a more calmer one. This is not a good sign. This man in front of her is a walking time bomb. Although, she handled bombs in the last years, this one is pretty special. It's like she has been trusted to defuse a bomb. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed." In attempt to defuse the bomb. 

The said man hissed and looked away. "Just don't do it again. That makes me upset because I really did study. My classmates helped me but they weren't much of a help. I did everything by myself. They only gave me their notes." He smiled, and the woman looked at the arched shaped lips filled with triumph. 

"Thank you, dear. So, what are your plans for today after this? Another risky plan?" She asked for what feels like thousand times since they met. 

He did not answer or even looked at her. He was busy searching his bag. She cleared her throat and asked again. "Have you heard that a married couple died yesterday because of someone who recklessly drunk drive?" And that caught his attention or he was just done searching whatever seems important to him. 

"Oh, yeah? Never heard of that one. Sucks though." 

_Sucks though_ was his response? She laughed inside knowing she has been right all along. 

"It does suck. Anyway, I've been keeping you here for sometime. You're dismissed." She said and leaned back on her chair. The man smiled and made a move to get up. He waved and reached for the door knob when the lady spoke "Happy 20th birthday, Eren." 

He looks back to smile at her "Thank you, Hanji! See you next week!" And she hears the click of the door. 

_Typing…_

_Antisocial Personality Disorder_

_______

“Hey” Hanji felt someone behind her. She looked up and saw a tall and blond man. He leaned down and kissed her cheek before smiling. “Long time no see, Zoe.”

“Shut it. Our office are just beside each other.” She said and yawned. “Busy day?” He asked after he settled down his seat. The woman texted him before he clocked out to meet at their usual resto-bar 2 blocks away from the hospital.

“No- actually, Yeah! I’m mentally exhausted! God give me strength to understand complex people!” She said the same time the bartender went to tend to their needs. “One American Light.” She asked and the bartender looked at the other guest. “Make it two” He nodded and quickly made their drinks.

“I have a conference tomorrow. Better to not get shit faced.” They both gave it a laugh and reached for their drinks. “What has gotten you to drink and not to eat?”

A single question took the whole mood down. He guessed it is better this way than for it to be bottled up, keep inside a box and be forgotten.

“I have this patient.” She said. “Their identity is confidential. Parents? Crazy rich as you can imagine. Typical rich kid. They thought it’s just a phase and he’s gonna grow out of it but the father doubted.” She laughed.

“The poor kid was 13! Who would send their child at a mental facility at that age, Erwin?” Hanji looked far ahead and gulped down the last bit of her drink.”It’s like, before he even finds out who he was, they already defined him!”She stopped “I was baffled at first. Usually, 13 years old kids act like that, right?” Her bitter laughed made the man winced. “Their parents originally wanted to make them stay and reside in the facility for good.”

“And?” Erwin asked and looked at Hanji. As much as he was also against at the parents’ judgement, he can’t also deny the burning feeling of psychiatrist in him shouting that they made the right decision. The dark and unreadable expression gave it away that something is wrong. Something bigger than teenage angst is involved. But Hanji will always be an open book to Erwin. Her worried can be seen through her eyes despite the glasses and crazy fringer covering them.

Being classmates and colleague with Hanji for so long showed him a lot of sides of the said woman. She’s not easily attached, more so, she’s competent and won’t let a kid break her walls down. Nothing can break her down. So to say that Erwin is amused is an understatement.

“I said no. But we made a deal. I’ll meet him once a week. Observe until I’ve got what’s bothering the parents.”

“What made them take drastic decisions, anyway?” Sending your child in a mental facility is a big step for parents. Accepting that your child is somewhat battling with things they cannot and maybe will not control hurts. Erwin cannot count how many times he has to talk to the parents of his patients to inform them that their child’s illness doesn’t define their whole identity but rather, it is a part of them, thus, they need to accept and embrace that fact. That is why in their working place, doctors, nurses and any medical staff are not allowed to call their patients by their illness such as ‘Schizophrenic’ instead, they call them “Someone with Schizophrenia”

“There was a dead bunny.”

That made Erwin look at her. He’s been in this field for almost 12 years. A child killing their pet is not uncommon but he never imagine being faced with them. He never met a kid with such a suffering like that before.

“No, he did not kill the bunny.” And laughed. “He made other kids kill the bunny and you know what their parents told me?”

_“It is not normal for his age! He’s not just a little kid to not understand death. No! Actually even little kids feel bad for it! But you know what our child said? He said it sucks and scoffed.”_

“So they brought them in, and I’ve been with them ever since.”

“What’s their age now?”

Hanji looked at him and sadly smiled. She looked than before she answered “ _Twenty_ ”

“So, you waited for his tendencies to build?”


	2. Chapter 2

"You may check the syllabus through our university's website. You're all dismissed." 

Eren heard as he rouse from his sleep. Biology is not his best subject. He doesn't think he's the best in any subject given. They're all boring and stupid. He won't benefit from it in the near future anyway. So, who cares? 

"Are you gonna join us in lunch, Eren?" Armin. 

He shots him a smile and took a large stride. "Yeah, what's for lunch?" His grin shows and Armin smiles back at him. 

"I don't know? Let's just check it out!" The smaller of the two said. "So, what grade did you get from our test?" 

"Just 91 over 100. Meh, pretty easy." He smiled again. 

He never stops smiling. 

"That's nice! You must've studied hard then" Armin beems and looked at him with such tenderness and that made Eren felt extremely high. He's up there. 

He's at the top and he's smiling. 

"No." His usual cheery voice went an octave down and that alarmed Armin. Eren sensed the uncomfortability and sighed. He chuckled and the pupil of his eyes dilated. "I guess it was harder on you since you don't have the best place to study, no? Or were your parenrs fighting aga- " 

"Eren!" Tears are threatening to fall down Armin's cheeks and Eren felt like laughing. "Sorry, dude! It's just fun to see you so riled up. Anyway, you should've known how I am. It's not like you're anything new to me." A smirk made it's way up to Eren's face and turned his back to his said _friend._

"I have something to do. See you, Armin!" He said as if nothing happened. As if he did not just crashed his friend's heart. 

He picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number "Mrs. Jaeger..." 

___ 

He looks back to smile at her "Thank you, Hanji! See you next week!" And he closes the door. Hanji is somewhat a figure he's used to. He grew up beside her asking random things. Usually just asking how his day went, what does he think of the current news or what music does he currently listens to. 

_"Well, Yummy has been playing on the radio non-stop"_

At first, he didn't realize why his parents sent him in the facility. Not until kids at school started calling him crazy. His parents, specially his mother had been worried and even asked him to change schools. Eren laughed and said it didn't bother him. 

After he found out, he asked his parents _Why? Is there something wrong with him?_

And up until now, he thinks nothing is wrong with him. His parents are just batshit crazy and over protective. They restrained him, limited his time with other kids, or if he's with others, one of his parents should be keeping an eye on them, _on him. Specially him._

If anyone asked, _Then why are you still visiting?_ It's because Hanji seems interested in his life. Like what he said, the woman always asks about him. No one does except Hanji. And Eren likes telling stories. Telling his achievements and whereabouts. Likes telling. He always like when someone listens to him. 

He smiles at the thought of his stories. It's gonna be good. It will be good- 

"Watch out." A deep voice said. 

Eren fixed his clothes and looked at the said man. "You were the one who wasn't looking." 

The man sighed and looked at him dead in the eyes. "Do you want to die?" 

"Well, do you want to die with me?" 

He smiles. 

He smiles until his jaw and the skin on his faces start aching. 

___ 

"Happy Birthday, sweetie!" Carla hugged him and left a kiss on his cheeks. "Thank you, mom." 

"Happy Birthday, son" His dad said. Eren smiled at him too. "So, how did it go?" 

Eren hummed in response. He wiped his mouth with a cloth before answering. "Well, Armin and I had a little fight but that's not important. I got the highest score in our midterm exam in biology!" 

"That's amazing! I'm happy you're working hard, Eren." She said with an elegant smile. "Did you talk to Armin about it?" His father asked. 

"Not yet. I don't know. He'll come around. Anyway, I met with Hanji earlier. She seems happy and greeted me Happy Birthday" He said and picked up his fork to stab the potatoes. "And I met someone" Eren laughs. 

"I met this person and he asked me if I want to die" His hearty laughed would've made his parents' heart flip but the opposite happened and Carla let out a gasp and she covered her mouth with her hand. 

"I said, only if he wants to be my suicide partner!" He laughs again. Full blown laugh that made tears well down his face. "Sorry, that was inappropriate. It was just too funny." He apologized. 

He apologized while smiling. He apologized with shallow intent and his parents are aware that they shouldn't read into it that much. 

"God, it's just so funny when he asked me if I want to die! I mean, who doesn't? 


	3. Chapter 3

It has been a week. Has been a week since he last saw Hanji. A week worth of stories he's dying to tell. _It's gonna be good. It is good. I can't wait. No- I'm not gonna wait._ It is true that it has been a week. It is. But for Eren, it feels longer. His most awaited day of the week. _It has been a week?_ It has been a week since his last reunion with the familiar white door. It has only been a week but Eren squeals in delight when his fingertips met the rough wood. He smiles and shakes his head. _god, maybe they're right. I am sick in the head. Maybe I am._

He reached for the door knob and was about to turn it when he remember his deal with Hanji years ago when he first when the woman. _Eren, always knock. Each time you visit. Knock ten times._ It has been a _training-_ What Hanji said- for him. He doesn't know what is it for but they've been doing it for years and Eren doesn't feel like upseting Hanji. He knocked ten times and heard a small _come in_. 

"Eren! You're early today!" She said and swiveled her chair. He plastered a genuine yet practiced smile at her. "Come on, settle down." Hanji cleared her throat and rested her head on both of her hands. "So, how was your weekend?" She asked. Same old question. Same old question that Eren can't help but answer. He looked up and saw Hanji smiling at him. A big smile that Eren can only see whenever a kid is waiting for a happy meal. A smile of a predator who's sure that they successfully lured their prey into their den, Hanji looks like a predator. But Eren doesn't feel like a prey. He doesn't. He won't. He ignored the smile and scoffed. 

"You know, weekdays." 

"And?" She encourages. 

"Well, I went to this small cafe downtow-" 

"No no no, dear." Hanji chuckled and looked at him straight in the eyes. "Not that one. The one with Armin." Eren doesn't like that tone. It feels like Hanji is talking to a toddler. Scooping out all the confidence in him. What is he? A kid? 

"What do you mean? We haven't talked in days." He reasons. 

"See! That one! Why aren't you guys talking? Did something happen?" She clapped her hands and swiveled hair chair around. Eren doesn't like that. He doesn't like this a bit. 

"Can we now go back to what I was going to say?" Eren can see red. His vision is starting to get blurry. He's starting to get furious. Little did he know that Hanji is already sporting a smile behind her laugh. _Talk to me about it, Eren. What's bothering you? Talk to me._

The younger took a deep breath and said "Hanji! What's wrong with you?!" He shouted and a feathery touch ran down Hanji's back. She can see his veins on his forehead and neck. His clenched fist and heavy panting. _This can only turn out bad or good but I hope it's the later._ She said and looked at Eren. She took a pen and swirled it around her fingers. As much as she doesn't want to burden Eren, increase his anger and stress the younger boy, She needs him to tell it to her. She needs to know his deepest desires. She needs to know what's going on inside his head. Hanji doesn't want to think of things that she know Eren is capable of doing. She doesn't. 

"Nothing is wrong with me, dear. I just heard you said hurtful words to Armin last week, I wanted to know why- I mean, he's your bestfriend-" 

"It doesn't matter!" He shouted in what feels like a huge blow to Hanji's eardrum. _why why why why? Hanji why? Aren't you supposed to listen to my stories instead?_

"It does, Eren. Did you know that Armin cried?" She remained calm. She wants to breakdown. This is Eren's first session with her. A real session. 

"He deserves it! What I said was true!" _That's right, Eren. That's right. It is true. But sometimes, if the truth won't help, then better lie or yet, never let the words come out of your mouth._ Hanji just watched him stand up and stomp his feet. "And why do you think Armin deserves it?" 

"Because!" He pants. _Tell me, Eren, what do you want to do with Armin? Why do you want to hurt him?_ She wanted to ask so bad. Finish the session and get on with it. But she waits. 

_Why are you doing this to me? Aren't you supposed to be on my side? Are you done with me? My stories are the best, aren't they? Hanji, my vision is already blurry. I'm furious. I want to hurt you right now. Can I hurt you? Just a little bit? You won't mind a little pain, right?_

"Because he's there! At the top! He's up there, Hanji! Why is he there? He doesn't have a good home! No tutor! No resources! That should be me! I'm the one at the top! I'm better!" He said. _Hanji, stop stop stop. Why are you being like this?_

"He's up there Hanji! He's up there and he's smiling!" 

_Oh, Eren..._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've been reading diagnosis for APD/Antisocial Personality Disorder and I'm hooked! Human brain really is an interesting organ. It's complexity and broadness is what gives it away. I'm just fascinated with science specially AnaPhy and I'm inspired to write one that includes our mind and brain. 
> 
> No, I'm not romanticizing mental illness. I'm sorry if it will offend anyone. It's just that, I've read a lot of psychological AUs and manhwas that portrayed mental illness really well. It helped me understand them more. Also, I know there are some and there will be inaccurate stands in here and I would like to apologize for it in advanced. 
> 
> Thank You!


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